On Wednesday, February 29th, we had first meeting with our social worker. It was super laid-back and she is so kind. We consider it a huge blessing that we connect with her considering she'll more than likely also do our post placement interviews which we found out go until our child is 5 years old!
Before our meeting I was given the opportunity to speak with our friend, Heather, about their process of adoption. They have had their little boy one year. Heather was and will continue to be an incredible resource. She's lived in China many years and is a very intelligent, wise lady. She's done so much research. I broke down in tears as she offered to be one of a handful of people she encouraged me to have to turn to when I need advice or help through the bumpy journey. Our conversation left me very overwhelmed, but even more encouraged that God will give us the strength to make it through this. You see, I can easily discount books on trauma, lack of attachment, the grieving process for the child, etc by thinking "it won't be that way for us". However, while hearing of Heather's experience, I was faced with the reality that this lady is so much like me (even more wise, experienced and patient) and they had just endured a most difficult year as their child struggled through these emotions. It left me with the certain resolution that Nathan and I are not equipped or strong enough to do this on our own. I can't begin to fathom what we would do with a child that shows their hurt through aggression, refusing to sleep or eat, not making eye contact with me, not allowing me to console or touch them when upset, etc., etc. So this brings me to the title of the blog. After that conversation, I honestly thought "Can we go through with this? Will we be able to provide what this child needs?" I've been reminded lately that obedience allows us to see the supernatural power of God in the lives of ordinary people. I heard that supernatural power as Heather was speaking to her son. I heard of God's faithfulness in the difficult times for them. Isn't that what we pray and long for? I couldn't tell you the number of times I've said, "Father, open my eyes to see where you are working around me so I can be a part of it". Well, He's definitely opening our eyes to the incredible need to care for orphans. We believe He is leading us specifically to open our home, hearts and lives to one which only means that He'll provide all the wisdom and strength needed to bring Him glory and us joy through this. I wish I could say I'm excited...I definitely think and hope that will come later. For now, we're reading one more book, filling out one more piece of paperwork, scheduling one more appointment with the expectation of God coming through with all we need.
