Waiting

We're waiting on some news about a placement. I'll post more as we get news, however I don't want to forget what God is doing in our hearts through this process. There are all these emotions swirling around in my heart and mind. First, how incredibly blessed we feel for the potential opportunity...that God would choose to give us a gift so sweet in His infinite mercy! Secondly, realizing how quickly my heart forgets His love for Nathan and me in thinking that God might withhold something good from us. Thirdly, the joy of repentance and surrender in confessing my unbelief, my desire to control and my fear of my heart not being able to take bad news (relying on my own strength). Yesterday God really encouraged me with Phil 2:13. ^" for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure." It was a great reminder that He's working in us for HIS good pleasure. Knowing this process PLEASES HIM gives me the strength to wait with joy, wait with eager expectation of His plan unfolding, wait with patience.

Dossier Off to China!

Last Thursday, July 12th, our fully authenticated I-800A approval arrived at our agency, then they shipped the entire dossier to China!!! Whoo Hoo! So thankful it's finally on it's way. Looks like we won't get to see referrals until the August list, but I still have hope for July. However, I'm very thankful that the Spirit has given us faith in God's timing being perfect! We only want to see a referral when it's the right time. Our case worker informed us that the list is most often released the last Monday of each month around 6:00 pm. Please be praying for us to be filled with the Spirit to have discernment in this process. It's a tremendous blessing to know that God has ordained this child to be ours from the beginning of time and will lead us to them. Praise God for His Sovereignty and mercy in sending us the Spirit!

I'm currently reading Attaching in Adoption by Deborah Gray and The Connected Child by Dr. Karyn Purvis. They are both a bit overwhelming as I think about where our child is now and what she/he is experiencing each day. However, God has continued to remind me that His grace is sufficient for me and His power is made perfect in weakness.

I can only imagine how hard the wait will be once we're matched. However, yesterday I do feel the yearning started a bit. As I was walking down the hall at work, I just had this overwhelming desire to go get our child....to start loving, protecting, feeding, and rocking her/him. Once again, I'm reminded that God doesn't make mistakes. We'll wait.

I'll keep you posted on the referral!