I-800 A

Well, today is a huge day. We're finally mailing off our I-800 A application to the US Citizenship and Immigration Services. The I-800 A is an "Application for Determination of Suitability to Adopt a Child from a Convention Country". This form has to be accompanied by our completed Home Study....this document's completion has been delayed a bit longer than I would have liked so we're SO grateful to say that process is behind us (for now). The approval of this I-800 A application allows our dossier to be complete and mailed to PRC. It's currently taking up to 90 days to receive approval but many families have received them in 60-70 days. We're really hoping for that!! Now we're concentrating on the final documents for our dossier then I'll take them all to be county certified, then state certified. Once certified, I can send them to AGCI to ship to DC for authentication. We'll then just be waiting on our I-800 A approval which we will expedite through the authentication process and mail to PRC!! Once they log our dossier into their system, we can begin to receive referrals. God really has provided much peace and patience for us. Praise, praise, praise God for His mercy! I know it's the Holy Spirit because my flesh is constantly wanting to rush, rush, rush.

Sigh

I feel like we can take a breather for a minute. We've completed all of our training, filled out our special needs list and are waiting to review our home study to be sent to immigration. This will be our first Saturday since the middle of January that we haven't worked on training or paperwork. It couldn't be a better time as we get to spend this weekend mediating on the death and resurrection of Christ. We're praising God for His huge sacrifice on our behalf and for His power over death!

FBI Backround Check

Hooray!! FBI called yesterday to verify our mailing address. They stated they'd be sending our results this week!! Praise the Lord! It's only taken 6 weeks as opposed to the expected 8-12. This is a small victory but a victory, none the less. So grateful for encouraging news! Hopefully this will allow us to get the home study complete a bit earlier than expected and we can submit our I800A form. Yesterday, my friend reminded me that this is very much a hurry up and wait process. I'm thankful we can be in the "hurry up" stage for a little bit since I really hate waiting. :) We're so looking forward to getting to see the face of the child God has planned for us!

Obedience

On Wednesday, February 29th, we had first meeting with our social worker. It was super laid-back and she is so kind. We consider it a huge blessing that we connect with her considering she'll more than likely also do our post placement interviews which we found out go until our child is 5 years old!

Before our meeting I was given the opportunity to speak with our friend, Heather, about their process of adoption. They have had their little boy one year. Heather was and will continue to be an incredible resource. She's lived in China many years and is a very intelligent, wise lady. She's done so much research. I broke down in tears as she offered to be one of a handful of people she encouraged me to have to turn to when I need advice or help through the bumpy journey. Our conversation left me very overwhelmed, but even more encouraged that God will give us the strength to make it through this. You see, I can easily discount books on trauma, lack of attachment, the grieving process for the child, etc by thinking "it won't be that way for us". However, while hearing of Heather's experience, I was faced with the reality that this lady is so much like me (even more wise, experienced and patient) and they had just endured a most difficult year as their child struggled through these emotions. It left me with the certain resolution that Nathan and I are not equipped or strong enough to do this on our own. I can't begin to fathom what we would do with a child that shows their hurt through aggression, refusing to sleep or eat, not making eye contact with me, not allowing me to console or touch them when upset, etc., etc. So this brings me to the title of the blog. After that conversation, I honestly thought "Can we go through with this? Will we be able to provide what this child needs?" I've been reminded lately that obedience allows us to see the supernatural power of God in the lives of ordinary people. I heard that supernatural power as Heather was speaking to her son. I heard of God's faithfulness in the difficult times for them. Isn't that what we pray and long for? I couldn't tell you the number of times I've said, "Father, open my eyes to see where you are working around me so I can be a part of it". Well, He's definitely opening our eyes to the incredible need to care for orphans. We believe He is leading us specifically to open our home, hearts and lives to one which only means that He'll provide all the wisdom and strength needed to bring Him glory and us joy through this. I wish I could say I'm excited...I definitely think and hope that will come later. For now, we're reading one more book, filling out one more piece of paperwork, scheduling one more appointment with the expectation of God coming through with all we need.

Paper Work

I've always sort of enjoyed filling out forms...I like to write in block letters very neatly on forms...I like that for the most part they don't take much thought...just time and then a sense of completion. Hopefully that will come back to me again one day because now I am just totally worn out by all the PAPERWORK! Wowza! However, I have thought multiple times how thankful I am that we have the time to work on all of this in a timely manner, without kids or many other responsibilities holding us back. No big news in the process. We've sent off for our FBI checks, finished our home study "initial paperwork", ordered our birth certificates and marriage license, scheduled our physicals, and set up our first appointment with our social worker (February 29th). We plan to knock out the remainder of our home study paperwork tomorrow as well as get started on our training. I've been really overwhelmed with the process lately. I'm both dreading and looking forward to the day we get a "match". Looking forward to it because we'll have a face and a soul to go along with all of this work. Dreading it because I know that's when the wait will become painful. God is teaching us more about faith....being sure of something you can't see yet.

New Perspective

So today I was reading a blog that I really enjoy here. She and her husband are amazing foster parents. She shared that they started this journey through pursuing adoption and made these comments as they still wait for what child God will have them adopt:

"Our new child won't look like us. Our new child may not be "healthy." Our new child could be any color or race. It could be a boy or a girl. And our new child will never know a day where he doesn't know his mother's name, where he doesn't hear that name prayed for, hoped for, fought for....Adoption is about someone fighting for you, pursuing you, calling hope out in you, when you never even knew it was possible.So, for as much as adoption is about our new little one who we long for more than words can express...there's also a mother, a father, we long to join in the fight of hope for."

So far my heart has been praying intently for our little one's protection, care, health, rest, having someone's love and attention. However, this has given me a new perspective that God has also given me the ministry of praying for the mother and father of our child....for hope for them in the Gospel of Christ. It has given me eyes to see how God might use me in His plan to restore a soul I may never meet until heaven, but they will always be so dear to my heart for their sacrifice.

Other news (mostly for my records): We've started our Home Study initial paperwork. Honestly, if this is the "initial paperwork" I'm frightened by the "main paperwork". :) The initial portion is 17 documents, one being 10 pages long! We're hoping to send off our fingerprints for our FBI check this week as the results take about 8-12 weeks. We scheduled our dossier run through phone call with our agency for February 9th.

Orientation Conference Call

We had our conference call with our AGCI inquiry specialists on Wednesday. Everything went smoothly and all questions answered. Right now, we're nervous about the "risks" involved. For instance if I got pregnant or if a baby were plopped in our lap by a mother wishing to give it for adoption, then money would be lost. At the end of the day, so many things are much more valuable than money...trusting God ranking the highest. We're plowing forward with the faith in His promise "His hand is upon us" - ps 139. Anna reminded me the other day that it will be fun to see what God's story is for growing our family. I so often forget He knows already....before the creation of time, He ordained all these things!